The Waiting Room

You know that popular saying, “When God closes a door, sometimes He opens a window”? I was laying in bed the other night asking God what He’s doing in my life. What is the purpose in all these hard and difficult things? And when that quote popped in my head, I thought, yeah right! Sometimes He closes the door so we just have to stand in the room we’re in and wait.

What I realized was that I was in the never fun “waiting” period. He revealed to me that He has in fact closed the door on a great many things in my life. My husband deployed, my dog gone and now we’re technically homeless. I laid in bed trying to understand why? Thinking on Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” This was a verse that God gave to me 3 years ago when I moved back to Texas after my “wilderness” journey in Louisiana.

I had thought that after that journey I would get a small break from life’s trials. Why I thought that, I have no idea! Instead, my family has taken hit after hit. And when I say that, I mean quite literally there has been something every single month for the past 12 months. And now I find myself sitting in a room with the door almost slammed shut in my face. I was about to walk through when God said nope! There is no choice, but to sit back down and ask why and how much longer? He tells me to just wait. He’ll open the door again when He’s ready.

Ugh! That’s the answer that most all believers can’t stand; wait. How long do I have to wait? What’s next? What do you have for me? Why do I have to wait? Why do things happen to me when I am waiting? Is there another door I should go through instead? Why did you close that door in the first place? Do you have purpose in this? The list of questions could seemingly go on forever.

There are no other doors for Him to open right now. There are no windows either. I stand in a dark room with only one way in or out and He has closed it for now. I can not even find my way back to the door if I wanted to because there is no light. I don’t know if I need to go forward or backward, to the right or to the left. I am at a complete standstill and can only ask questions to the One who knows.

Waiting is never fun, but to wait in the dark feels even worse. I find myself asking every day what His plan is. Every day asking why these things are happening. Yet I am comforted in the fact that He is listening and speaking. It may not be the answer that I want, but He’s speaking. “Wait for Me.” “I have purpose in this for you.” “Remember that I am good.” “I am doing something new.” “I am your provider.” “I told you that I would be your husband while he is gone.” “Your children belonged to Me first so I will take care of them.” “I am your shelter.”

It may not be words telling me which direction to go in, but He is speaking. And soon, that door will fling open and I will finally get to know what new thing He is doing!