Community

I know in the social media driven world we live in today it’s easy to look perfect. It’s easy to make it look like you’ve got your life figured out and everything is wonderful. I used to do that. I used to do my best to make it look like my marriage, my children, my home…myself was perfect. But the truth is, my life is messy. My marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s being restored by the grace of God. My children aren’t perfect, but I love them so unconditionally. My home is a disaster area, but I have a home that’s filled with laughter and love. In short, I am a mess.

In an effort of transparency, Wednesday was a rough day. When trying to get ready for school my son can never seem to choose a pair of shoes on his own. He must ask me about 4 or 5 pairs and then as we’re trying to walk out the door I usually have to shout for him to pick one and put them on. As we were leaving, another child was whining about a toy. She had one in hand, but it apparently was not the one she wanted to take with her to “dance day out”. Eventually we made it out the door. When we got to dance, my youngest daughter had left her dance shoes at the house and was barefoot. My older daughter refused to go in to class and I had to drag her and then run out of the room. All this before 9 am. That afternoon after school had let out, my older two refused to listen to anything I said. I was on the verge of crying.

I know that I’m not the only mom who has felt this. Just the day before, I had a friend that had texted that she had been crying. We have a constant group chat going between myself and two of my closest friends. As we encouraged our friend, we reminded her that we’re there for her on those days. We reminded her that though we all live in different states now, she’s not alone. She’s in a community of friends of who are there to help lift her up and encourage her. I read through those messages the next day as I was now the one on the verge of tears. I was encouraged that I’m not alone when I go through the ups and downs of motherhood.

As I was thinking on how important a community is, I was reminded of when Moses had to keep his arms raised in battle. If his arms were raised, they would win. When they dropped, they would begin to lose. When Aaron and Hur saw Moses grow weary, they each came beside him and propped up his arms and they won the battle (Exodus 17). Who do you have to come beside you and hold you up when you grow weary? Do the people around you tell you to just give up or do they prop you up? Community is such an important part of life. To know that you are not alone. To know that you aren’t the only one that’s struggling.

When I stopped focusing on looking like the perfect family and decided to love my life as it is, I felt relieved. I felt like I could breathe again. But more than that, I allowed others to see my struggles. Only then did they know how to pray for me; how to be there for me. They knew then that whatever they struggled with in secret, they weren’t alone. I had a community where it was okay to be messy. It was okay to be broken, because I wasn’t the only one.

God doesn’t call us to be perfect. We never will be. I don’t have to look put together, because my God is still putting me together. He’s shaping and molding me as He wants. He wants to do the same with all of us. Clay can’t mold itself. It will just sit on the table, unformed and useless. But if we allow the Potter to sit and to mold us, we can become something beautiful and with purpose. Stop trying to build the perfect image and rather build yourself a community.