I find myself at the end of myself. Only then to remind myself that this where God wants us. Only once we reach the end of ourselves do we move out of the way for Him to work. This is something I have known for such a long time and yet I still find myself unable to move out of the way. Desperate to cling to whatever “control” I have.
Month after month, I have felt blind sided and been hit with something. Month after month, I feel more and more as though I’m falling. With my husband deployed, no home, no certainty of income and 3 kids to tend to, I have absolutely zero control. Every time I start to plan and move forward, God hits me with something else as to “it’s not this.” But have I learned? No. Because month after month I continue to try to make plans.
I laid in bed last night after having a crying pity party for myself with the Lord and could not get the words of Ruth out of my head. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.” (Ruth 1:16) I couldn’t get those words out of my head. It was as if they were on repeat. Then God reminded me that I had recently prayed about how to operate in the gift of ‘faith’. “This is how you operate in it,” is what I heard. Where He goes, I will go. Where He stays, I will stay. His people will be my people and He is God, my God. Where He died for me, I will be buried with Him. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates me from Him.
Ruth followed Naomi. No husband and no home. No income and no source of food. She faithfully went to a new land and she faithfully did what Naomi instructed her to do without question. She gleaned in the fields and laid down on the threshing floor. She did so with total faith that God would provide. And He did. God took care of every single need and I imagine desire that Ruth had. Marrying Boaz, owning the field that she gleaned, having children and even being in the lineage of Christ. Her faith took her there.
As I meditate on what God is doing currently in my life, I must ask myself, do I have faith like Ruth? With so many uncertainties, will I cling to Him as Ruth clung to Naomi or will I turn back like Orpah? I pray her words over and over again, where He goes I will go and where He stays I will stay. I do not know what tomorrow will look like. I do not know when my husband will be home. I do not know where we will be living in a couple months. I do not know what our income will be in a few months. I genuinely do not know anything.
My prayer is to be like Ruth. To cling to Him and to follow Him. Where He goes I will go and where He stays I will stay. His people will be my people and He is God, my God. He died for me and so I will be buried with Him. May He deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything separates me from Him. If He tells me to glean, I pray that I will have the faith to glean. If He tells me to lay down on the threshing floor, I pray that I will have the faith to do so. I know that He works all things good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
“But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
Ruth 1:16-17
“And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28
Sunshine and Whispers 