I am admittedly not very good at sitting and waiting. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very patient person, but I like to be moving and doing. Unless it’s housework. Then I’m happy to sit and wait. But that’s beside the point! Where I really struggle with waiting is in my spiritual walk. I feel like I was on a path to something in ministry, but then as my mom puts it, I got put on a shelf. Waiting is so hard to do. But He keeps putting it in my face. And not just to wait but to wait joyfully. To enjoy Him.
This morning I had to drive into Dallas. With the car all to myself, I turned on a song I’ve listened to a probably a thousand times. It’s a beautiful song that has always made me think of the Shulamite with King Solomon, but today it was different. I heard Mary and Martha in it. The first part of this song is all about what can I do for you? What can I bring to you? I thought to myself, that’s me. I’m constantly in search of the next thing that I can do for God. Wondering what’s next? What is my calling? Give me a purpose! I’m Martha, looking for work to do for Him instead of just enjoying Him.
The song changes though and says “You don’t have to do a thing. Simply be with me. My heart burns for you. I’m in love with you.” And that was it. I heard these lines with new ears. This is Jesus singing to me. Can you imagine how different that story in the Bible would have been if Jesus had simply grabbed Martha by the wrist and told her to sit down and do nothing. That His heart burned for her. I imagine her stopping and looking into His eyes and she slowly slinks to the floor in amazement that the Son of God would tell her that He’s in love with her.
It’s the same for me today. I drove back with tears flowing down my face as I listened to the Creator of the Universe tell me that I don’t have to do anything. But my focus has been on myself and on my works, I have pulled away thinking there’s more to do. I can hear the desperation as the song cries out, “My heart burns for you!” I can hear Him yelling it to me, desperately trying to grab my attention as I’m distracted. I think of the heartbreak I bring on Him as I ignore His words. He simply wants time with me. He doesn’t ask for another blog or another Bible study. He’s in love with me. He wants me.
I know we’ve all heard the story of Mary and Martha. We know the difference between the two. I know Mary’s, they are Godly women who sit at His feet, spending hours upon hours in His presence. Soaking Him up because their heart too burns for Him. He didn’t grab Martha’s wrist and pull her back to Him, but I know He grabbed mine. He has pulled me in to tell me that He is in love with me. Stop asking what I can do. Stop trying to figure out what my purpose is, what my calling is, what my gifting is. Stop.
Will I heed the cries of the One who loves me, or will I be too distracted by the work that I want to do? As a Martha, I choose today to join Mary sitting on the floor at His feet. Telling Him too that my heart burns for Him.
Sunshine and Whispers 