Sometimes You Just Fail

I haven’t written anything in a while as I’ve had this feeling of being a bit lost lately. My faith in God has not wavered, but I feel as though He has been silent. And the silence makes me uncomfortable. In the quiet is when our fears can begin to prey upon us. Am I still hearing Him? Am I still good enough? Where are you Lord? Have I failed?

I’ll be completely honest with you. I feel as though I have failed Him. And the enemy has used this to attack me. Not saying that God doesn’t love me, but how can God use me? I know that God uses mighty imperfect people, but I am not mighty enough to be one of them. I don’t spend enough time talking to God. I don’t spend enough time in the Word. I can’t even decide on what church to go to. How could I ever become the kind of failure that God could use?

It wasn’t until this last Sunday that I heard God rebuke the lies the of the enemy. Do we look for God after the failure? It was a question I already knew the answer to, but do I really? I read a quote recently from The Office that I haven’t been able to shake, “Not everything’s a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” Sometimes I do just fail.

There’s not always some big aha moment. There’s not always a wonderful lesson to be learned or shared. I just simply fail. But what do I do afterwards? Do I sit and let the enemy speak lies to me? Do I make covenant with him in agreeing that I am a useless failure? Or do I look to the One who created me? Do I seek out the loving grace of my Father who tells me that it’s okay that I failed today? Where do we go?

I would say tomorrow is a new day and while it is, it’s a new day to fail as well. I love Lamentations 3:22 – 23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassion’s never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Every day it is new, because it must be. We are imperfect people.

The lies that the enemy has whispered to me don’t matter to God. Does He want me to speak more often to Him? Yes! Would He like it if I spent more time in His word? Of course! Does He want me in church? Absolutely! However, none of these things are detrimental to my relationship with Him or His ability to use me.

I have failed Him every day of my life and will continue to do so. I must simply remember to look to Him and for Him after I do. Whether in the big life lesson fails or in the daily just because failings!