I’m sure each of you, like me, has grown up hearing the saying “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” It’s such an odd saying to catch on. Is there not something more appealing to use than flies? Why not something with puppies? I’d much rather be at the bottom of a puppy pile rather than in a swarm of flies, but I digress. The point of this saying is to say that you will attract people by being sweet rather than sour.

Last week I had a last-minute play date with a new friend. We sat on her couch as all 6 children ran around her house as though they’ve been locked in a room for a month. In between the screams of excitement, we managed to get in a few words. She had told me that she woke up in the early morning hours and couldn’t go back to sleep. She eventually decided to read an article and by the time her husband got up, she was sobbing.

The article was about how mothers can transfer their stress to their children if they are not careful. That as parents you should deal with it, so your children don’t pick up on it. Now, my friend has had a very stressful last few months. She’s had to deal with a few things that would be tough for any mom. I felt myself get irritated about this article and that she was made to feel guilty by it. Parenting is stressful enough without having someone tell you that you are probably failing at it and in the process messing up your children.

As she told me about how the article made her feel, I couldn’t help but think of something my mom had told me recently. She’s been reading a book about the prophetess Deborah. There’s a part in the book that speaks of being sweet like a honey bee or stinging like a wasp. That a honey bee creates something sweet and delicious that can be shared with many people. The wasp stings and brings only pain. You’ve read the scripture I’m sure that says your words have the power to bring life or death (Proverbs 18:21) and the depiction between the honey bee and the wasp is a perfect example.

I’ve had people speak death to me about circumstances and I always felt defeated and then second guess myself. I’ve had people speak life to me and I felt invigorated to continue through difficult circumstances. There’s a reason that the Bible tells us “the soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15). I doubt the author of that article intended to crush anyone’s spirit, but often we’re not aware of the power of our words.

For myself even just yesterday, a worker at a grocery store told me I looked like I haven’t slept in four days. And while yes, I am exhausted, I didn’t need him to tell me that. I was already struggling yesterday not feeling too great about myself, but after his words were spoken I felt even worse. He didn’t intend that I’m sure, but his carelessness over his choice of words had a greater affect that he would have imagined.

I’m reminded of something my mom often says and forgive me if this upsets you. She says, “You don’t have to tell a fat person they’re fat, they already know.” That man yesterday didn’t have to tell me that I looked tired, I already knew that. The author of that article didn’t have to tell my friend that she’s passing her stress to her children, she already knows. This is where the saying “thank you captain obvious” comes in to play.

I encourage you today to be more cautious of your words. Don’t be like the wasp who brings only pain. The wasp does not die after stinging, it lives on and will continue to sting. Even the honey bee will sting, but only once and will leave behind something sweet.  You can still “sting” someone but make it sweet. Let us use Psalm 119:103 as our example, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth”. Give the choice of wasp or honey, let us sting like a bee.

As I’ve mentioned previously one of my favorite singers is Lauren Daigle. She’s from the Lafayette area and so we share some mutual friends. This means stories about her pop up on my Facebook feed regularly. Recently she was mentioned quite often due to her performing on the Ellen Degeneres talk show. She was criticized by some for going on the show to perform and her response is, in my opinion, powerful. She said, “I think the second we start drawing lines around which people are able to be approached and which aren’t, we’ve already completely missed the heart of God.”

The profoundness and impact of that statement is so close to my heart. When I was younger I worked with some “Christian” women and some unbelievers. Soon I began to see conflict in the work place like I had never seen before. I had a specific co-worker that was a non-believer. She never claimed to know Christ and so why would she be expected to act like a Christ follower? These godly women that were leaders in their churches and in the community began to criticize her. They would say cruel things behind her back and eventually to her face.

When we had our company Christmas party we decided to ride together. As I took her back to her car we sat in the parking lot for a couple of hours talking. We talked about the difference in our upbringings and our lifestyles. We laughed and cried and genuinely got to know each other. How could anyone be mean to someone so sweet? But the words she spoke to me that night have impacted my life far beyond what I’m sure she expected. “I have never known a kind Christian until you”, she told me. That statement broke my heart as it should yours.

I want you to stop and really think about that for a minute. She had never met a kind Christian. How is that even possible? Just like Lauren Daigle’s response, people had drawn lines around her and decided she shouldn’t be approached. She was too far gone. The choices that she had made up until that point in her life were “disgusting” and so she didn’t deserve to hear about the love of Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:2 tells us, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” You can teach Sunday School, have quiet times, go to Bible Study and do everything perfect, but if you do not have love then it is worthless.

The Pharisee’s had knowledge and faith, but they did not have love. They were bound by law and religion so much so that they couldn’t see Jesus for who He was. He didn’t act the way they wanted Him to. He didn’t cater to the “righteous” but rather went to the sinners. The Pharisee’s wanted lines drawn dividing them from those that they considered beneath them. Christ came to erase those lines and as His disciples we should too.

What kind of legacy are you leaving? Have you missed the message of Christ completely or have you shown love to someone that has never seen it before? Are you a Pharisee bound by law and religion looking down on people around you? Are you a disciple of Christ that operates in love and relationship leading others to know what Christ is really offering them? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be responsible for someone deciding against Christ because I couldn’t or rather didn’t want to show love. So, which is it, Pharisee or Disciple?

Movies. Movies are my escape. You know, that one thing at the end of a hectic day that helps you to unwind and relax. Everyone has one. Mine is movies. I love just about every genre; drama, romance, musical, sci-fi, fantasy, action, etc. One day my mom confronted me about a movie choice as she didn’t approve. I told her that when God convicted me on the movies I watched, then I would stop watching. She asked me if I had prayed then and asked God. With all the cockiness I could muster I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “No. When He’s ready to convict me then He’ll just convict me.” Cue eye roll. I know, I was young.

Sure enough though, the day came and conviction flooded in. What sort of things had I allowed into my home through the movies I watched? It was time for a radical change. It started out slightly difficult, but I found that as the Lord empowered me the temptation grew smaller. My selection of movies dwindled, but the atmosphere in my house was different. A good different! However, that’s not to say that temptation still isn’t something I deal with.

Just recently I fell into temptation. My son was at school and both of my girls were napping. I had a quiet living room to myself. I turned on Netflix and soon saw one of my old favorite movies. As I’m sure most of you know that if you sit on a selection, Netflix will now play a trailer for the movie. I lingered for a moment and watched the trailer. I saw an actress that I hadn’t recognized in the movie before. I decided to see if it was really her.

I skipped ahead to a scene I knew she would be in. It was the actress I thought it was. I should have then turned it off, but I didn’t. As I watched it continued onto the next scene and what I had told myself was only going to be a “few seconds” soon turned into a few minutes. I started to tell myself that it’s only a movie. Though dark and supernatural in nature, what harm would it really do? I’ve watched it plenty of times before.

As I began to give way to my temptation and explain it away, my dog stood in front of my TV and started barking. For those of you who do not know, I have a rather large Great Dane. He blocked the entire screen and overpowered the sound with his booming bark. As he stared straight at me, I became uncomfortable and turned the TV off. He immediately stopped barking. I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation and say “Okay God. I hear you! You’ll even use my dog to get my attention.”

It reminded me of Balaam in the Bible with his talking donkey. There was an angel of the Lord in Balaam’s path that only the donkey could see. His donkey did everything he could to stay out of the angel’s path. Eventually God opened the donkeys mouth to speak to Balaam. Then God opened his eyes so that Balaam himself could see the angel of the Lord (Numbers 22). My eyes were closed, but because I had shut them. I didn’t want to see the Lord in my moment of weakness. God moved my dog in front of me and used him to “speak” to me. Not like Balaam’s donkey, but in a message that I could still understand.

I gave way to my temptation knowingly and willingly. What I had told myself would only be a second soon turned into minutes and I was trying to convince myself it wouldn’t hurt anyone if I watched the movie. It’s just a movie after all. Isn’t that how the enemy works though? It’s just a small thing. Who will it hurt? Surely just a tiny bit will be okay? Isn’t it good? Don’t you need just a little bit more?

The truth is, God had already told me who it would hurt. But more than that I knew that God had told me to lay them down and I had now willfully disobeyed His command. My mom has often mentioned that God always has His hand on us. He’s either patting us on the head or spanking us on the butt. I certainly deserved a spanking that day, but rather He patted me on the head and told me it’s okay. I will always fall short, but that’s what His grace is for.

Have you fallen into temptation recently? What signs has He put before you to grab your attention? He tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 to “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” We must be alert to the traps the enemy has placed around us for he is surely aware of our weaknesses, but God’s grace is there when we fall. Verse 10 and 11 of that same chapter say, “And the God of all grace…will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” There is no better way to end than that!

My children have recently decided to stop watching movies in the car and instead want to listen music. This is an incredible blessing straight from the Lord. I no longer must listen to the same cartoon’s over and over and over again. No more fighting over who’s turn it is to pick the movie. Instead, we listen to mommy’s favorite songs. The kids all buckled in the back scream the lyrics as loud as possible and although my ears may hurt, what a blessing to hear my children sing praises to the Lord.

More than that, the songs make them ask questions. One of my favorite songs is “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott. She sings that although she doesn’t understand how her broken heart can be His will, she will still cry out that His will be done. When the song finished, my daughter asked me what she meant. I happily paused the music for this question.

I explained that sometimes bad things happen in our life, but God has a plan for us. We must let go of what we feel and cling to God’s plan. Although she’s only 4, her next question was true of any of us, “but mommy what if my plan is better?” How can I make her understand this? “What is one of your favorite things?” I asked her. She shouted out, “A Pegasus!” I had the perfect example, she watches a cartoon with a Pegasus. A cartoon is as close as she can get and that’s good enough for her. “However, what if God wanted to give you one?” I asked. Her face changed with great excitement. I asked her which is better, a cartoon or the real thing? The choice is clear. That’s what the words “Thy will be done” mean. God’s plan is always much better than anything we can think of.

I count this interaction as 3 blessings in 1. One, I no longer have to listen to cartoons. Two, my children sing praises to the Lord. Three, my children learn more about Him! I read in a Bible study recently that a generation walked away from the Lord because the older did not teach the younger about Him. It is up to you and to me as parents to teach our children. Every interaction is an opportunity to them about who He is.

Even just this morning my daughter mentioned the beautiful sky. I told her that God created that sunrise just to show her how much He lover her. In her wonderful sweetness she said, “but mommy God loves everybody.” Yes, this is true, “but every so often He does little things just for you to show you how much He loves you”, I said. God created that sunrise just for her this morning, because He knew she would mention it.

No opportunity should pass by that we don’t explain the goodness of God to our children. Never be caught up in your own music that you won’t pause the song. Never be so distracted that you don’t hear what they say. Even the smallest of things is a way to explain a little more about who He is. We can not let the next generation walk away without knowing the fullness and goodness of God!